SHIELD's Secret Weapon
by Trouble101 Loki Laufeyson
Summary: I (Loki) set out on mission to Join H.Y.D.R.A. as a spy for S.H.I.E.L.D.
1. Chapter 1

S.H.I.E.L.D.'s Secret Weapon

~Loki Laufeyson

Have you ever felt that throb in your throat that hurt so badly, it made you want to cry? Has that throb in your throat ever cause you to go into a deep depression? I wish I could explain to you how I felt that night. It was so terrible!

"Your temperature is ninety-six degrees," said one of the doctors of S.H.I.E.L.D. "You're not ill, Mr. Laufeyson." She gracefully took the thermometer out of my mouth and gave me a cherry-flavored lollipop.

"I'm allergic to cherries." I grumbled.

Doctor Johnson took the lollipop out of my hands and traded it for a root beer flavored one. "Is that better?" she asked raising an eyebrow.

I was silent as I took the lollipop with a glare. "I think I have the Swine Flew." I said.

Doctor Johnson rolled her brown eyes. "Mr. Laufeyson, you do not have the Swine Flew."

I glared up at the beautiful burnett wonder that I could never date within a million years. And yes, I have asked her if she wanted to go on a date with me and she said, "Never in a million years!" Mortal women sicken me. "I have Strep Throat." I said.

"No, you don't." She replied.

"Then what do I have?" I asked.

Doctor Johnson chuckled. "You have a huge case of I.N.F.J."

I lowered my eyebrows into a curious expression. _What the hell is I.N.F.J? _"Pardon?" I asked.

Doctor Johnson smiled. "Introversion Intuition Feeling Judging," she answered. "It's a personality type; not Strep Throat."

Right before I was going to make a perfectly good sarcastic remark, Director Nick Fury's voice echoed in my ear. "Agent Laufeyson! Report for duty!"

"Damn," I cursed under my breath. I lifted my finger to my ear and replied. "Reporting as ordered." I glared at Doctor Johnson and left the room. Of course I stuck my finger at the collar of my tie and tried to loosen it. Every time I put on my suit for the agency, I end up either tying it too tight or too loose; never perfect; never comfortable. I came up to an elevator where I had to put my I.D. card in front of the sensor and then my left eye. Of course, it let me in and I pressed one of the buttons to go down to the first floor. The elevator stopped and the doors opened. Stark entered. He held an Iphone in his hand and was playing what looked to be… I'm not sure. All I saw was a bunch of birds with angry faces. Suddenly he looked up from his phone with a horrified expression. Stark quickly set his eyes back to the the phone and then the elevator music quickly changed from the classical music of Swan Lake to hard rock. Stark looked up from his phone and just stared at me for a moment. "It's The Rolling Stones," he said. "Sadly, it's better than Swan Lake."

Now Stark had no idea it was me because I transformed into Agent Coulson, but my form must have flickered because a wicked grin grew upon his face as he patted my shoulder saying, "Well if it isn't the ol' Lokster!"

I transformed back into my normal self with a glare. The doors opened for the first floor. I quickly exited the elevator and walked along in the large open space of the S.H.I.E.L.D. Headquarters. I looked around the large room and saw Agent Hill in jeans and a t-shirt with the S.H.I.E.L.D. logo on it with her hair up in a ponytail, sitting by a fountain outside at the entrance reading a magazine. I had the sudden feeling that was my cue… And it was. I walked outside and approached Agent Hill. She slowly looked up. "Agent Laufeyson?" she asked.

I looked around and watched as S.H.I.E.L.D. agents entered and exited the Headquarters and S.H.I.E.L.D. cars driving up and down the streets around the building to keep watch of trespassers. "Yes." I replied.

Agent Hill nodded and looked back to the magazine. "Would you sit with me?" she asked.

I sat down next to her on the bench. "How has your day been?" she asked.

I looked around. "Fairly balanced," I replied as she slowly shut the magazine and set it down. "Good times and bad times."

Suddenly a black S.U.V. with no sign of S.H.I.E.L.D. on it drove up and parked right off the street on the other side of the road.

"I would only assume that is us." I supposed.

Agent hill put on her sunglasses and looked at me. I had the strangest feeling she was glaring. She looked around and then stood up and pulled me along with her. She, of course, brought me into the S.U.V. We sat in the back row… Or one of the back rows… There was two facing each other. The only person on the other side was Fury who sat there quietly with a judging expression. The S.U.V. started up and began to drive along. "Loki. Laufeyson…" said Fury. "It's been a long time."

"No more than three months." I raised an eyebrow.

Fury snorted. "It's funny how you say that, Mr. Laufeyson!"

I was quiet for a moment. "Why am I here?" I asked.

Fury didn't answer. Instead Agent Hill moved to the other side and brought out a folder of paperwork. She handed it over to me and I opened it. The first thing I saw was a picture of a young Japanese girl who looked to be a mortal infant.

"Her name is Monique Merlay," said Agent Hill. "She's half French, half Japanese (if you were wondering). She's been missing for thirty years. That picture was taken in 1985 when she was thirteen years old."

I flipped the page and found another picture of the young mortal. The picture seemed newer, but she looked the same as if she hadn't aged a day.

"That was taken yesterday morning," Agent Hill continued. "She was found in a antique store looking around."

"Was she taken in?" I asked.

Agent Hill nodded.

"Then what do I have to do with this?"

the room—sorry—vehicle fell silent.

"We want you to join H.Y.D.R.A.," Director Fury broke the silence. "We believe that's where she's been this whole time."

I leaned back in my seat. "Why do you assume that?"

"Because she said something about H.Y.D.R.A. when we talked to her." Agent Hill answered.

"Why do I have to be the one to join H.Y.D.R.A?" I asked. "Any pathetic mortal (like you) can do it, I'm sure."

"Mr. Laufeyson," said Director Fury. "You already know the answer."

The car stopped.

"But in the mean time," Fury continued as Agent Hill traded me a different folder. "Our contact will remain Low-key, if you know what I mean..."

The door next to me opened and I was escorted out of the vehicle. After I took a few steps forward, the S.U.V. drove off into the dark nothingness.


	2. Chapter 2

After the S.U.V. was gone, I stood there in the night thinking of how I would play this off. I knew H.Y.D.R.A. is very strict about S.H.I.E.L.D. agents entering their Headquarters. Between me and the building was this large field the size of half a football field. I was standing on a sidewalk still thinking to myself. _H.Y.D.R.A. wants something that S.H.I.E.L.D. despises_, I thought. _I wish I knew what_. I'm sure the mortals who are reading this already knows what H.Y.D.R.A. wants. I'm going to guess world domination—? that would make sense why S.H.I.E.L.D. refuses to tell me what they want. They think know that if I know what H.Y.D.R.A. wants, then I'd want to join them instead of S.H.I.E.L.D.

I stared at the building and watched as limousines and other fancy vehicles pass by and drop agents off in fancy clothing. Suddenly an idea came to mind. If H.Y.D.R.A. wants world domination and they are as bad as S.H.I.E.L.D. betrays them, then maybe I should just be myself. That'll do the trick. I loosened my tie with a mischievous grin on my face and began to stroll along forward towards the building. I entered invisibly and appeared when I pretended I was walking out of the restroom. I smiled at everyone that noticed me. I began to think to myself again. _How much longer should I wait? I don't even know when this ends! _So I pulled out my golden dagger and randomly stabbed somebody in the gut. I thought that would drag attention, but it didn't. So I separated in different persons and stabbed other mortals everywhere. Suddenly, everyone began to scream. They tried to exit, but I shut and locked the doors as well. "SILENCE!" I screamed with my voice echoing around the crashed party. The room fell silent on my command. I chuckled for a second and then I was interrupted by a bunch of large heavy set mortals tackling me to the ground. My illusions flickered and disappeared as they punched me in the face and everything went black.

I woke up in a chair with a sack over my head. I was sitting down. I tried to move, but it felt like I was chained to something. I saw the light seeping through the fibers of the fabric. _Well this didn't turn out as well as I expected_, I thought. Suddenly the sack was ripped off my head and I was almost blinded by a light overhead.

"Well, well, well," said a man's voice in front of me. "What do we have here?"

I blinked as I looked to whom was talking. I was sitting at a table with this old mortal man who looked to be in his sixties. He was an agent, of course, but I honestly barely remember what he looked like because of how bright that light was. Suddenly a familiar folder was dropped in front of me. _Wait… _I thought. _That's_ my _folder…_ The man behind me came next to the man in front of me. He was no where older than I was in mortal years and he was Cuban. I could tell.

"Hmm…" said the the older man. "Loki Odinson…" He lifted his eyes to me with an evil grin. "Odinson!"

_Idiots!_ I thought. _It's_ Laufeyson!

I glared at them.

"A man of Chaos," said the Cuban. "He's the same Asgardian as the one who destroyed New York in the name of the Chitauri."

"Hmm…" the older man replied. "Tell me, Mr. Odinson, what brings you here?"

I leaned forward. An evil grin grew upon my face. "I wish I knew." I chuckled.

"You are truly a maniac, Odinson," said the older man. "Mr. Necco, if you please get me the Six Thousand, I would greatly appreciate it."

The Cuban (or what so called, "Mr. Necco") nodded and left the room.

"Six Thousand?" I chuckled. "I only wish I can feel the threat in that."

"Keep telling yourself that, Mr. Odinson."

At that moment, Mr. Necco came in with the Six Thousand. I thought it would be a gun, but it looked more like a relic from Odin's trophy room than anything else. It's very hard to explain. I knew exactly what it was; the Spenni. It transforms into different relics and has the power of illusions and can control the mind of any creature. My eyes widened with fear as I struggled to get out of the chair I was chained to.

The older man chuckled as he stood up from his chair. "You know what this is, Loki Odinson?" he asked with a wicked smile on his face.

I calmed down for a bit until my arm jolted for a second because I really wanted out of that chair. I was perfectly capable of killing these mortals. I tried using my powers and my magic, but they failed to work. That was when I realized these mortals were perfectly capable of killing me.

"This is the Spenni," the older man continued. "We call it the Six Thousand to hide it's true name." He took the Spenni from Mr. Necco. "Do you know what _'spenni'_ means, Loki? It means Transformer. Norse legend says it got it's name from Odin because of how it transforms the mind."

"Not my mind." I glared.

The older man chuckled. "You were scared to death just less than a minute ago! I'm sure you've seen it before, Odinson. Perhaps your father might have used it on you?"

I continued to glare at him silently.

"Ah," he smiled. "Your mother. She wanted you to have magical powers like other Asgardians…"

I can tell you're wondering how he knew all this: the Spenni in his hand was controlling his mind and telling him everything that happened to me in the past.

"But it didn't work…" The older man's smile grew as he knelt next to me. "You were adopted into the royal family of Asgard, _Laufeyson_… Pfft! You're not a _king_; you are no more than just a monster." He chuckled as his eyes turned yellow from something of my past. "When you were brought home by Odin All Father, Frigga despised you. She didn't want a Jotun in her kingdom! You became to be an outsider. So Frigga taught you magic. The two of you grew close. You were told to be the next heir to the throne. _You_ were supposed to be the king of Asgard. But at the last minute, the decision was made; Thor was the next heir instead. You rebelled and almost conquered the world. But you failed. You went to prison in Asgard and was set free by your brother. After you faked your death, you killed the king… Oh… And now you're an orphan."

My arm jolted again to punch him in the face as I forgot I was chained to a chair.

The older man chuckled as he stood up. "Mr. Necco, I believe it's time to unchain him."

Mr. Necco nodded in agreement. I was unchained. Once I stupidly had high hopes to be free, I was put in handcuffs. I was escorted out of the room and then brought into a science lab. And I was cuffed… Again. But this time I was on a springy hospital bed sitting upright. The two H.Y.D.R.A. agents exited the room leaving me and the Spenni. Suddenly I heard the _click clacks_ of high heels walking towards me. It was a familiar woman with dark shiny curly brown hair (which was down instead of up in a bun) and brown eyes. I lowered my eyebrows as she turned away to get at the needles and such and then a thought came to mind. "Doctor Johnson?" I asked.

She turned around as she was putting on her rubber gloves. "Yes, Loki it's me." she replied without a care in the world as she began to examine my eyes with a flashlight.

"What are you doing here?" I asked as she now started to examine my ears.

"I'm a H.Y.D.R.A. agent," she replied after she finished examining. "I need you to take off your shirt."

I was silent. "My shirt?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Yes."

I looked down at my shirt and noticed my jacket and tie was gone and all I had was my white shirt and my black pants to go with the uncuffed me and I unbuttoned my shirt and Doctor Johnson pulled up the ear phones for the stethoscope and started to listen to my heartbeat.

"Johnson," I said. "What is your name?"

She took out the earphones, went for a clipboard and began to write things down. "What do you mean?" she asked as she finished writing.

"I'm asking if Johnson is your true name." I replied as I buttoned up my shirt.

She sighed. "Louise Elizabeth Johnson," she answered in a sad manner. "My twin brother's name is William Nicholas Johnson. I had seven other siblings, but they died in a airplane crash when my brother and I were eight and left home alone in England because we were sick," she swallowed back a sob. "We avoided childcare by hitchhiking on a ship to come over here in America and lived our lives on our own. We went our separate ways. I joined H.Y.D.R.A. and my brother join S.H.I.E.L.D. all because _he_ thought it was _my_ fault mother and father and our other siblings died in the _freaking_ airplane crash and wanted to make a difference in the world, you hear me? Now is there anymore personal information you want from me, Mr. Laufeyson?!"

I was silent as I met her eyes. I shook my head.

"Good." she nodded. "Oh great," she sniffled as she rubbed her eye. "I cried and now I have to take out my contacts." She did so and the reason for her contact lenses is because she has green reptile eyes. "Dammit." she muttered and sniffled as she set the contacts aside. Louise turned around grabbing a needle and sticking it into the Spenni. She brought over the needle full of "Spenni liquid" which just happens to look like rainbow colored fire. She finally met my eyes. "Say something…" she said shakily and nervously. "Anything."

I was quiet. "When you were left home alone and were sick, did you have strep throat by any chance?"

She chuckled as she stuck the needle in my neck. "No." She took a deep breath as she slowly squirted the Spenni liquid into my neck.

"What's wrong with your eyes?" I asked trying to keep the needle off my mind.

She met my eyes once more. "When I was eighteen, I was kidnapped by a crazy mad H.Y.D.R.A. agent, scientist… Whatever you want to call him…" she pulled the needle out and put a cotton ball with alcohol on it. "Please press that down for me," she interrupted herself as she threw away the needle and came back to me. "Anyway, he used me as a science experiment and…" She shook her head. "I'm stuck with this curse." And Louise left off at that. She never did want to explain more about her past. Of course that was when everything went dark again.


	3. Chapter 3

I woke up in a bunk bed at the top in a dark bedroom. _Is it _still _night? _I thought. I sat up and looked around the room. I found red lit numbers—an alarm clock which read, "1:56am." I would've stayed in bed if I was tired, but I wasn't at all. I climbed down and exited the room. I was wondering if I was back in S.H.I.E.L.D., but I had the slightest feeling I wasn't. Oddly enough I was wearing my green, black and gold garments I wore back in Asgard. Once I fully left the room, I was in a hallway with black lights so everything looked dark and purple. I had the choice to walk either left or right, but I chose left. At the end of the hallway where two directions met, on the wall was a huge H.Y.D.R.A. logo. I turned left again. This time I came up to an elevator which opened as an agent came out. He almost ignored me, but it became awkward silence after he stopped and stared at me for a moment. "Yes, I'm Asgardian," I broke the silence. "Now can we move on?"

The agent nodded and walked away. Before the doors closed, I entered the elevator. I stared at the buttons as if they were a language I didn't quite understand. Although I pressed one of the buttons as if it was my first language. The random elevator music was no more than what sounded like… The Rolling Stones? I wasn't sure and nor did I even care. But with a little _ding_, the doors opened and I came into a very huge room indeed. Everyone was in there. It had computers, a meeting table and a big window. It looked quite familiar. I realized I was on the same helicarrier I was on when I invaded New York… Except they did a little rearranging with the whole "logo thing."

"Director Laufeyson," Mr. Necco approached me. "Welcome."

I looked around. "This is—"

"A helicarrier," he interrupted. "Yes."

"Director?" I asked.

Mr. Necco laughed as he patted the side of my shoulder. "It's good to talk to you, Director Laufeyson."

At that moment Louise Johnson almost walked by wearing a H.Y.D.R.A. uniform (A.K.A. a black suit you fight in) with a belt that carried a gun around her hips. She had her contact lenses on and her hair was down and she was holding a folder of paperwork. But Mr. Necco grabbed her by the arm and she stopped and stood there.

"Meet your assistant, Director Laufeyson." He said.

I sized her up and the only thought I had for her was just another mortal. "I'm afraid we've already met." I turned to Mr. Necco.

"Alright," he smiled. "Agent Clovis and I are your pilots. Where to?"

I was silent. "I'm not sure. Let me think about that."

Mr. Necco nodded and walked away to wherever. I didn't really care to tell you the truth.

Louise cleared her throat. "Director Laufeyson, these are for you." she handed me the two folders. "Agent Daniel Whitehall wanted one of the directors to read them before he left."

"Where is this _Daniel Whitehall _ you speak of?" I asked.

She didn't answer. Instead, Agent Johnson shrugged as if she didn't know.

I took them and opened one up. But then I closed it and gave them back to her. I glared at her in the eyes. "You're just like the rest of the mortals out there, aren't you?" I asked.

Louise was silent as she looked down at the floor. "I don't know what you're talking about."

I continued to glare at her as she lifted her eyes to mine. "Go ahead." I said to her as I closed one of the folders.

"Loki," she followed me as I walked up by the pilots. "I'm sorry, but I had no choice! How are you even behaving this way? you're not supposed to know!"

I turned around and faced her. "It didn't work on me," I said. "It never did."

Louise was silent. "The Spenni doesn't work on me either." she mumbled so quietly it was hard for me to hear.

"Of course it doesn't." I replied.

"What?"

"It wouldn't work on you," I muttered. "I read your records."

"Where?" she asked.

I opened one of the folders and gave it to her. "That's your records," I did the same with the other folder. "And that's your brother's."

After she saw her brother's folder, she paid less attention to hers. She continued to read his until there was no more to read, then she gave the folders back to me in a sad manner.

"Well?" I asked.

She cleared her throat. "He's dead," she croaked. "He died… Last year."

"Louise—"

"No, I'm fine, I'm fine," She lied to herself. "He went his way to try and protect the world and… I went mine… To do nothing but destroy it." She forced a chuckle under her breath. She closed her eyes for a few seconds and then she was completely calm. "I'm ready to report for duty, sir."

I blinked as I turned around and looked straight ahead at the large window in front of me.

"Where to, Director Laufeyson?" Agent Clovis asked.

I said the first place that came to mind. "How about the H.Y.D.R.A. Headquarters in Dallas Texas?"

Agent Clovis smiled. "We're on it, sir!"

Once I felt the helicarrier start the engine and begin to fly off the coast of New York, I went along to the meeting table and sat there. I didn't know much about the helicarrier, but I did now how to be a ruler… Or what I've heard, "the boss." I watched as everyone worked. _Why would I be their director? This must be a test, _I thought. _It has to be_. I kept wondering if Louise Johnson was an undercover S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. Although if she was, she wouldn't have had the guts to inject Spenni liquid into my neck. But if she was an undercover H.Y.D.R.A. agent at the S.H.I.E.L.D. Headquarters, then she wouldn't help that many agents. Why would she help S.H.I.E.L.D. agents if she's an undercover H.Y.D.R.A. agent? They're the enemy! I opened the folder of Louise's records. When I read it the first time, I didn't finish; it was only the beginning. Of course I skipped through. Her folder of records was full. I read about how her parents were killed in the airplane crash, and how she and her brother survived on their own. And then finally I made it to reading about the time she was a science experiment. It said that the man who kidnapped her was trying to make an immortal army. I understood the thought. An army of immortals that could never be broken; they would win every time. But he used the wrong serum. Louise was a reptile. I wondered how her skin wasn't green, but it turned out as I read, that's the color of her scales. It was quite disturbing and I couldn't look at her the same. Then again, I'm no more than a monster also. She escaped and S.H.I.E.L.D. found her. Louise was a good S.H.I.E.L.D. agent until one day she was practicing and her boyfriend, James W. Thornman whispered in her ear, "Hail H.Y.D.R.A." Being a young and selfish nineteen year old, she became a H.Y.D.R.A. agent. It had nothing to do with her brother.

I looked around the room. I looked down and proceeded to read.

When Louise grew mature, she wanted to go back to S.H.I.E.L.D., but it was a difficult task. So instead she became both. Now it was a dangerous task. She practiced in S.H.I.E.L.D. to be a Doctor and practiced in H.Y.D.R.A. to be an assassin. When she said the Spenni didn't work on her, she was right because she didn't really take it. Agent James W. Thornman (I really don't like his last name one bit) was going to inject the Spenni, but he faked it. he only injected water and lit it up just right for it to look like Spenni liquid. She and everyone else thought it didn't work.

I closed Louise's folder. I wasn't sure if I should have read her brother's or not. _He's dead_, I thought. _Therefor I do not have to read about him._

Yet I set Louise's folder aside and flipped open his folder. "William Nicholas Johnson," I read under my breath. "S.H.I.E.L.D. agent of London England." William was no more than another S.H.I.E.L.D. assassin as far as I'm concerned. Maybe the average Midgardian would say that would be amazing, but I wouldn't agree. He was kidnapped by the same man Louise was. Only afterwards. He was injected the right serum and he became immortal. Although it must have failed in the long run because he was shot and announced dead February 8th 2014. It made sense why his folder had less paper than Louise's did. He rarely ever got a mission. I slowly shut his folder. I watched Agent Johnson on the other side of the room as she checked on everyone with their computers. She must've been screaming inside. Her most loved one has been dead for one year and she didn't know until now. I know the feeling… Except I was told the very next minute after my mother had died. How was Louise able to hide her emotions so well? It made me wonder when the last time she saw her brother was. It had to be more than one year, though.

She looked up and met my eyes. I quickly looked the other way and pretended I was staring outside the window.


	4. Chapter 4

After the helicarrier landed, we all exited it and entered the H.Y.D.R.A. Headquarters of Dallas Texas. It was one of the tallest buildings there, so we landed on the top and made our way to the bottom floor. Suddenly I heard a voice in my ear.

"Agent Laufeyson," it said. "Agent Laufeyson do you copy?"

I raised my eyebrows. "Romanoff?" I asked.

"Yes." she answered.

"Look—" I interrupted myself as I noticed I had all eyes on me. Everyone was looking at me suspiciously. I quickly held my whole ear with my hand turned the chip in my ear into a bluetooth (which is like a phone). "Look, honey. I can't buy the groceries now, I'm busy."

"What?" she replied.

Everyone went back to what they were doing. At this point, they could care less about me.

"Loki," Romanoff continued. "Are you at the H.Y.D.R.A. Headquarters?"

"Honestly, babe," I said keeping a down low. "I have to work late tonight."

"I'll take that as a no…? And _BABE?" _

Suddenly a group of heavy built mortals sat on a bench twenty feet away. "BUT WE JUST BOUGHT DIAPERS!" I shouted.

Everything fell silent.

"Diapers?" Romanoff asked. "Look, Loki. If you're trying to be undercover, than acting like you're a dad really won't work out too well."

"Hun, I really have to go. Tell Johnny I'll be there… I won't miss the game, I promise. I love you. Bye." I pretended to hang up (when I really didn't. I could still hear Barton eating potato chips in the background). I began to walk and look for a place with less H.Y.D.R.A. agents. I found a nice dark hallway and entered that. Although, it wasn't dark. It was just a hallway, but it worked for me because nobody seemed to be there. I touched the bluetooth and turned it back into the chip. I pressed the button of the microphone in my ear. "Okay, I'm back," I said as I continued to walk. "I'm in the H.Y.D.R.A. Headquarters of Dallas Texas. Was I supposed to be here?"

"Yes," Barton replied with his mouth full. I heard a swallow that really didn't sound too… Ah… Appetizing. Suddenly I didn't like potato chips very much. "Perfect," he continued. "Are you good at hacking into computers?"

"No," I said. "I don't even know how to use one. Speaking of, how does the "touch screen" even work? I know Stark is wrong because it _has_ to be powered by magic."

"No," Barton said in a frustrated manner. "Actually you just touch it—never mind. I can't explain. Stark's an idiot. He's drunk half the time."

"I heard that!" Starks voice sounded in the background.

"I was talking about Thor!" Barton replied to Stark. "He eats too many pancakes and he's a complete moron!"

"Beg your pardon, mortal," said Thor's voice. "but I am _NOT_ a buffoon, mind you!"

I lowered my eyebrows. "_Thor?_"

"Loki?"

"Since when did you manage to show up to work at S.H.I.E.L.D.? Every time I've ever been, you're not there!"

"I just finished a mission, brother, so shut up!" Thor replied.

"Guess what," I said. "I just started one, so you shut up!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No—"

"Agent Loki Laufeyson, just do as we say and don't talk to Thor!" said Director Fury.

"What if Thor talks to me?" I asked.

"He won't talk to you because if he does, he'll have my foot up his a—"

"Eee-haaaaw!" Thor interrupted sounding like a donkey.

It was silent. I lowered my eyebrows as how strange that was.

"Thank you, Thor," Fury finally said sarcastically. "That was very thoughtful."

"Loki is still a child." said Thor's voice in a proud manner. "He needs not to hear such shoddy language."

"How is he _still_ a child?" Rogers asked.

"In mortal years, he's seventeen," said Thor. "Do the math."

"How can he do the math when he doesn't even know how old Loki is in Asgardian years?" Banner asked.

"1,048 years old," Thor said. "Do the math."

"Don't agree with whatever is on Tumblr, Thor!" Stark raised his voice.

"I would have guessed he was at least thirty." Romanoff thought aloud.

"Everyone Silence!" I shouted.

They were all quiet.

"I'm twenty-one in mortal years, now let's get on with it!"

They were still quiet.

"That doesn't even make sense!" said Banner.

It was silent.

"Agent Laufeyson, I think we're gonna have to call you back at a later time." said Director Fury.

"Alright," I agreed. "A later time sounds good. I'll make sure to stay away from people."

"Low-key, you mean?" Barton snickered.

"Don't push it, birdy." I glared as I hung up. I walked a little faster now that I was focusing.

Suddenly, in the distance, about fifty to eighty feet, I saw a man in full black uniform. No, really. I mean, he had a bullet-proof vest and everything. And do you realize how many guns he had? Three on his belt, one in his hand, and a big one over his shoulder that he held in the other hand... Oh yes, and he had other weapons on his belt and something on his back. He had sunglasses and he had a black hat on. Almost like what burglars wear, but not quite. And no, it didn't cover his face. Although he just stood there.

I stopped and stared.

The man began to walk forward. He stopped at ten feet away.

This so what called "_mortal_" was twice my size. Then again, he was in full fighting gear.

"Pardon me." he said in a British accent.

I nodded and moved aside. I walked one way, and he walked the other… Until I heard a gun fire and my right foot suddenly began to throb. I turned around. The man blew at the smoke coming from the gun in his hand. He dropped the gun from his shoulders which made a big _thud_.

I lowered my eyebrows as I looked at my foot, then at him, my foot, him, my foot, him. "You just shot me!" I raised my voice.

The man smirked. "Oh did I?" he asked sarcastically. "I surely wouldn't have guessed that as your leg is bleeding and my gun is hotter than lava." He looked down and checked his gun. "Oh and I'm missing a bullet, thanks to you."

"You shot me!" I replied.

" . ," he said sarcastically. "Now we go into the _you shot me _shiznit. Was Louise Johnson on the last helicarrier that landed or not?!"

"You mean Number Sixty-eight?" I asked trying to avoid the answer.

He rolled his eyes. "Yes."

"Then no, she wasn't."

"She was, wasn't she?" He asked.

I thought about it for a moment. "... No…"

He was silent. "Look, you mothersmucker," he pointed his gun at me. "You tell me where the gal is, or I blow your flunkin' head off!"

"What is up with you and creative cursing?" I asked.

"I'm not creative cursing, you beeoch!"

"That's not even a thing." I shook my head.

"Is it?" he asked. "You know what? I think it's time for my gun to start creative cursing!"

"Shoot me and it won't make a difference." I warned.

"What do you know?" He asked.

"I mean," I glanced at my foot as I put my hands up. "I heal really fast."

"I think you're pulling my chain." he said as he continued to aim the gun at me.

"Why are you even pointing a gun at me?" I asked.

"You're Director Laufeyson of H.Y.D.R.A. am I correct?"

"No," I replied. "Well—yes and no."

"ARE YOU DIRECTOR LAUFEYSON YES OR NO?!"

"No." I answered.

"Then who in the hay are you?"

"Agent Loki Laufeyson of S.H.I.E.L.D.," I answered. "I'm undercover as Director Laufeyson of H.Y.D.R.A."

He hesitated. Then the man dropped his gun and brought out a badge. "Agent William Nicholas Johnson," he said calmly. "I'm looking for my sister."

"I've met her." I admitted.

William put away his badge and we shook hands. "You can call me Nick," he smirked. "Other chaps call me Will and my mum used to call me William."

"What did your father call you?" I asked.

Nick glared.

"Just out of curiosity." I continued.

Nicholas broke out into a chuckle. "He called me Nick-knack… Or Junior. Because I am a junior. You?"

"Well," I answered. "S.H.I.E.L.D. calls me Agent Laufeyson, H.Y.D.R.A. calls me Director Laufeyson, my brother calls me Loki, my father called me Loki, my mother called me Loki, and your sister calls me Loki… Do you need my badge?"

"No, no, no," William shook his head. "I was already told about you on a mission here."

"Then why did you shoot me?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Sorry about that," he said sympathetically. "They only said "Agent Loki," not "Agent Laufeyson."

"Ah."

"But do you know where Louise is?" he asked.

I shook my head. "She seemed to disappear once we got off the helicarrier."

"Were you lying about the number of the helicarrier?" he asked.

"No," I smirked. "The number of the helicarrier is actually sixty-seven."

"Then let's go find her." he said tossing me one of his guns from his belt.

Nick-knack picked up his guns from the floor and we went along to look for his twin sister.


	5. Chapter 5

When William and I made it to the end of the hall, he stopped and told me he wasn't supposed to be seen. He looked around for a room he can possibly change in, so when he spotted one, we turned the other way. He entered one of the rooms and I stayed outside of it. When he came out, all he was wearing was a black t-shirt, military jeans, boots, sunglasses, a gun on his belt, and of course—what any agent would need—speakers in his ear with wires attached to it. For those mortals out there who worry too much about hair, I would've thought he'd have brown hair like his sister, but it was more of a dirty blonde, but it looked like the lightest brown you can think of.

"And how are you going to protect yourself from a bullet?" I asked out of curiosity.

"I can't die." he smirked as he began to walk.

I was silent as I remembered his records and followed him. My eyes widened. "... Ah."

"I know, I know," he put a H.Y.D.R.A. cap on. "It's hard to grasp the concept."

"I can't die either," I lied. "I'm a god."

William looked over and raised an eyebrow. We stopped walking. We were silent until Nick-knack broke out laughing. When he slowed down, he patted the side of my shoulder and broke out laughing again. "You're a god…" He chuckled. "Man, you crack me up."

Of course I was not laughing and had a serious expression the whole time I was being laughed at.

Once William's expression faded, he realized I was serious. "You're kidding."

"No," I said. "I am from Asgard, therefore I am a god."

He brought out a knife. "Gimme your hand."

"No!" I lowered my eyebrows.

"I need to prove a point. Gimme."

"No!"

"Gimme!"

We began to have a tug-a-war contest with my arm until he cut my palm which quickly flooded with pain and if I had a phone, I would've called 9-1-1. William smiled and let go of my hand. "HA!" He shouted. "Gods don't bleed!"

"Yes they do!" I replied. "I'm bleeding, no?"

William chuckled. "And you're bleeding because you're not a god," he smiled. "Gods don't blow stuff up for the amusement of watching their brother's expression."

"Oh my God," I said under my breath. "You're worse than Steve Rogers… How did you know that?"

William nodded full of amusement. "I read your records. I. Know. _All_."

I was silent. Out of rage, I quickly grabbed the gun on Will's belt and shot him in the head before he could protest. He didn't even flinch. All he did was stand there as the bullet fell out of his skull and onto the floor. It was strange to watch a wound heal that fast.

"You calm?" Will asked.

I shot him again. "Yes." I answered as I gave him back his gun.

"Are you going to take care of that hand?" he asked as he rubbed his forehead.

I chuckled. "No."

He sighed. "Fine, I'll do it!" He grabbed my hand and muttered something like, "I have to do everything around here, don't I?" When he let go, the wound was gone.

"It would've healed anyway!" I grumbled.

"And all of H.Y.D.R.A. would wonder what's wrong with you!" He replied in the same tone and slapped me upside the side of my head. Once I was about to shoot him again, S.H.I.E.L.D. called up in my ear.

"Agent Laufeyson," said Fury's voice. "Do you copy?"

I glared at William Johnson for a moment before I began to walk and answer the call. "Why wouldn't I copy?" I asked. "That would be madness."

"You invented madness," Fury replied. "We detect someone close to you."

I turned my head to look behind me at William, then I looked back, continuing to walk. I turned around and began to pace. "That would be Agent Johnson of S.H.I.E.L.D." I replied.

Fury was quiet. "What is Agent Johnson doing at the H.Y.D.R.A. Headquarters in Dallas Texas?" he asked.

"Well," I said glaring at William. "It's not exactly the _Agent Johnson_ you're thinking of."

"A clone?"

"No," I replied. "Her brother."

As Fury was silent, Maria Hill answered for him. "Loki…" She hesitated. "I thought he was dead…"

"Apparently not," I said. "He's been alive this whole time as a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent in London England. Have you read his records, too?"

"I have," Maria admitted. "It didn't say anything about him being alive. And last I've checked, there isn't either a S.H.I.E.L.D base or headquarters anywhere in the United Kingdom."

"Do think he is lying?" I asked.

"Possibly," she answered as I heard typing in the background. "Ugh." she grumbled under her breath.

"What is it?" I asked.

"It won't let me enter," she replied. "Apparently there _is_ a S.H.I.E.L.D. in London."

"Is it the same logo?" I asked.

Agent Hill chuckled. "What is it with you and logos?"

"Logos say everything," I replied. "Like I said before, is it the—"

"No, it's not," Fury interrupted. "It's a totally different logo."

"What does it look like?" I asked.

"It's a phoenix," Maria explained. "It's golden and sparks around it."

"It's round and it glows," William interrupted with a wicked grin on his face. "It's so full of energy…" he pounded his chest with his hand where his heart was located. "It just makes you want to stare at it forever!"

"Loki, who's that?" Agent Hill asked in a worried voice. "Is that Agent Johnson's brother?"

I nodded. "Yes." I replied.

Agent Hill was silent. I could tell her and Director Fury were staring at each other. Finally Fury said something. "Laufeyson, you need to get out of there! I repeat; get out of there!"

"Why?" I asked.

"No questions," said Fury. "I'm not answering until I see you running on the radar."

I turned around and ran the other way. "Okay explain!" I shouted as I ran.

"Sky hacked into S.H.I.E.L.D. and they're allies of H.Y.D.R.A.," Agent Hill explained. "Did you tell him anything about yourself?"

"Yes, is that bad?" I asked.

"Damn you, Laufeyson!" Director Fury yelled over the microphone. "Does he know you're an undercover S.H.I.E.L.D. agent?"

"No!"

"Tell the truth."

"Fine," I replied. "He knows!"

I began to grow tired. I wasn't anywhere near the end of the hall which was not good. I slowed down and ran into an elevator. Once the doors shut, I began to talk to Agent Hill and Director Fury. "He's immortal," I said while panting. "If I don't outrun him, fighting would be useless."

"He has to die somehow," Maria replied. "What's the point in being immortal if you don't die? He's only human, Loki."

"I'm not and I'm fairly capable of dying," I said. "I know; I've murdered my own father… That doesn't sound too good, does it?"

"We all have a dark side," said Maria. "This is S.H.I.E.L.D. Nobody is perfect."

"What kind of speech is that?" Fury asked. "Nobody's perfect, period! Laufeyson, you need to find Agent Louise Johnson before William does. When you do, I want you to end your mission and bring the girl back here. This mission is _not_ as important as your life. End of discussion." Then they hung up on me.

The elevator doors opened and I ran out. I wasn't sure what floor I was on, but all I knew was that I needed to find Louise.


	6. Chapter 6

There I was—the son of Laufey—the king of Asgard—running from a Midgardian. It wasn't really as _explained_ as I wanted it to be. There were still questions to be asked. I don't think William was going to kill me yet. I slowed down and began to walk. I was in a hallway that almost looked like a hotel because of all the rooms and the never ending vanishing point. I was the only person there and the only sounds I heard was the furnace and my footsteps. Suddenly I heard a gunshot. Most people would run away from the sound, but I turned the other way and went directly to it. It fired again. It didn't sound like it was anywhere near me, so I ran until I left the hallway. Now I was where I first exited the elevator when I ran. People were scattering and screaming. And then finally I found where it was coming from; not Louise. One thing a hero would do is run down to the person firing a gun and talk to them, but I'm not a hero, so I turned my back and walked casually until I saw Louise trying to get into an elevator. She was desperately pushing one of the buttons, but it was jammed.

"Louise!" I shouted.

She looked at me for a second and then she turned invisible. Louise was being difficult. It was like trying to catch a lizard. I ran up to where she was before. I felt around, but she wasn't there! I gave up and looked around. Suddenly I saw a different elevator further away open for no reason. Without hesitation, I ran up to it as fast as I could. By the time a got to it, the doors were closing and I had to squeeze through. I made it in. I looked around the elevator to find movement. I found her, so I grabbed her by the shoulders and she appeared.

"Let go of me!" she pushed me away.

"Louise, why are you acting like this?" I asked.

She glared at me. "You killed my brother!"

I lowered my eyebrows. "Where did you hear that bull shiznit?" I asked.

Louize raised an eyebrow. "My brother used to say that."

I shook my head. "No."

Her jaw dropped. "So you really did kill him?! I can't believe you—you worthless piece of—"

I held her arm back as she tried to slap me. She tried to slap me with the other hand, but I did the same as I did to the last one. "Calm. down."

Louise glared at me for a couple of seconds and then nodded. The elevator doors opened, but I pressed one of the buttons for them to close. I pressed the button to go up to the very top of the building. "Now where did you hear that shiznit?"

Louise forced a chuckle, but then sighed and hesitated to speak. "One of the commanders told me," She glared. "Commander Lukas Cergarman."

I raised my eyebrows in surprise. "Commander?" I asked. "Really?"

She nodded. "Yeah."

I was silent. "When did I kill your brother?"

"Pffft," she sneered with an intense glare. "You have killed so many, you have no idea when you killed my brother. Forget it. He died in Germany."

I've already met her brother and I swear to Asgard I didn't recognize him.

We stared at each other until the elevator doors opened. We were at the very top of the building. We stood there in hesitation before we came out because it was raining. A man with an umbrella stood there waiting for us. I looked up to find a flying object, but there was none. I began to walk forward and after about five feet, I stopped and turned around to see Louise standing still in the elevator glaring at me.

"Louise," I said. "Are you coming or not?"

"Over my dead body." she replied without hesitation.

After I rolled my eyes I walked back over to her and grabbed her by the wrist. She tried to press the button to close the doors, but I pulled her out in time. I dragged her with me towards the man as she protested. When we approached the man, he turned around and faced us. He immediately pulled out a walkie talkie and spoke to it.

"We got 'em." He said and a landed helicopter appeared behind him.

I was silent. "Are you—?" I asked lowering my eyebrows.

"Agent Coulson of S.H.I.E.L.D.," he said. "I'm afraid so."

"Didn't I kill—?"

"That's classified information," Coulson interrupted. "In the mean time, we've gotta get the two of you out of here."

"Why?" Louise asked as she ripped her wrist out of my hand. She glanced at me with a glare as I tried to grab her wrist again, but I decided not to. Louise looked back to Coulson with a smirk. "Where to?"

Coulson smiled faintly. "I was ordered not to tell."

"How do we know it's not a trick?" I asked. "I'm supposed to bring Louise back to S.H.I.E.L.D.; not go on another mission."

"Who says it's another mission?" Coulson's faint smile faded.

"I do." I answered defending my boundaries.

"Shut up, Loki," Louise glared at me. "We're going." She walked over to the helicopter and climbed into it. "If it is a mission," Louise poked her head out. "I hope you die in it!"

Coulson chuckled. "You really know how to pick them, Mr. Laufeyson."

I lowered my eyebrows as I passed by him. "We're. Not. Date-ting!"

After we all buckled up, the helicopter flew away. It was a long journey and quite annoying. At first it was silent as I tried to get Louise to talk to me until she snapped and began to yell at me throughout the whole flight. I began to ignore her, so I don't remember what she exactly said, but I do know it was about her brother and how I supposedly _"killed him"_ in Germany.


	7. Chapter 7

I finally began to pay attention to what Louise was saying once she began to cry. Questions raced through my mind as I slowly turned my head to my right which was where she sat. _WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? _I asked myself. _This mortal woman is crying for what reason? Because I ignored her? Because she thinks that I killed her brother? _I had no idea.

"I just—," she covered her mouth with her hands and cried even more with her eyes closed. Louise moved her hands upward so that she covered her face. She then bent forward, setting her elbows on her knees, classically crying in a helicopter.

I stared at her. Sure, I knew how to comfort those in need, but all I did was pat her on the back.

She took a deep breath, removed her hands from her face and slowly moved her head, looking up at me with her watery snake eyes. She sat up, took another deep breath and sniffled, so she stopped crying.

I removed my hand from her back.

"I just can't deal with…," she met my eyes. "I just can't deal with the pain."

I looked away. I knew what she was going through. Although this was an awkward situation with all the awkward silence.

Louise forced a chuckle. "You have no idea what I'm going through right now…"

It was quiet except for the sound of the blades spinning on the helicopter. "I do." I said breaking the silence and turning my head back to her.

Louise lowered her eyebrows. "You do?"

I nodded. "My mother… She was murdered. A dark elf slaughtered her." I said full of enmity.

Louise bit her lip. "You—"

"I haven't killed anyone for years, Louise," I continued. "Although I did stab someone quite recently, but I'm sure he's fine."

Louise's mouth opened, but before she could say anything, Agent Coulson stepped in from the flight deck. "I suggest you put on your seatbelts," Coulson advised. "We're landing."

Louise glared at him. "What idiot wouldn't wear a seatbelt on a helicopter?" she asked raising an eyebrow.

"A S.H.I.E.L.D. agent." Coulson replied.

I could tell that really got to her because of how silent she was.

I reached over for my seatbelt. Louise looked over to me as she heard my seatbelt click as I (what everyone seems to call it) "_buckled up_."

Coulson nodded at me with respect and walked back into the flight deck.

"Come on, Louise," I smirked as she looked away, silently gulping. "It's not like nobody knew."

She hesitated. "Nobody was supposed to know." she muttered.

"H.Y.D.R.A. knew," I replied. "They had your papers. I read them. So if H.Y.D.R.A. knows, then so does S.H.I.E.L.D."

"That's sick." she lowered her eyebrows.

"No, no, no," I corrected. "Joining S.H.I.E.L.D. to be a doctor when you're already a H.Y.D.R.A. assassin? _That's_ sick."

"I hate you." Louise glared.

"That's alright," I replied. "Because I hate you, too."

We both glared at each other until the helicopter landed on the very top of a building in the middle of a desert. We both unbuckled and got out of the helicopter and walked about ten feet away from it.

It was wicked hot outside, but also windy. Windy enough to get sand in your eyes, But not windy to the point you have to yell in order for the other person to hear you. Coulson exited the helicopter and it flew off.

"Where are we?" I asked looking around.

"Area Fifty-one." Coulson answered.

"But," Louise lowered her eyebrows. "They're an air force base… We're an enforcement agency."

"Yes," I smiled mischievously. "_We_ are, but _you're_ not." I said _we are _pointing at Coulson and I, and I said _you're not _pointing to her.

Louise gritted her teeth.

"Anyway," Coulson continued. "There is a S.H.I.E.L.D. base here."

"Where is it?" Louise asked.

"We're standing on it." Coulson answered.

We were interrupted by a sudden change with the weather. It was darker, the wind was stronger, and it began to rain.

I looked up at the sky.

"Thor?" Coulson asked.

"No," I replied as I turned my head to him and Louise. "It's raining. Thor can't make it rain… Though, I don't think he can."

Suddenly we began to go down. Coulson acted as if this was an everyday scenario, but Louise and I were both panicking.

"What's going on?" Louise asked as she brushed her hand through her wet, brown hair to pull it back.

"You'll see." Coulson assured.

We went downward through a clear tube very slowly. We entered a room filled with electronics, electronic devices, vials of glowing liquid filled with tons of colors, steam was everywhere, blue strips of light surrounded the corners of the ceiling, cases of weapons, and at the very end of the room, was a big, round S.H.I.E.L.D. logo on the wall. The room was not lit by any lightbulbs, but it was bright from the different glowing potions in the vials, the blue light strips. In the center of the room was a table. The kind of tables that are also computers that S.H.I.E.L.D. usually has in every headquarters.

The doors opened. We all exited the elevator and entered the room.

"This," said Louise in awe. "Is S.H.I.E.L.D.?"

"It is," Coulson answered as he quickly walked up to the table. "Every modern base of the U.S. has one; Military, Air Force, Navy and Army."

I went to the left side of the room where the vials of potions stood on a glass shelving unit. I picked up a green one and stared at it in my hand.

"Why here?" I asked.

"Pardon?" Coulson asked.

"Well," I replied. "There was a Military base in Killeen Texas. Fury could've ordered you to take us there, but it was here." I put the vial back.

Coulson walked towards one of the cases filled with weapons and opened it.

Once I saw a blue lighting coming from the inside of the case, I was immediately interested and curious. _Could it be what I think it is? _I asked myself. I walked up to it and it was exactly what I thought it was; my scepter.

"Director Fury thought that you should have it back," Coulson explained. "For you to take what is yours. Although, he said, he still couldn't trust you with it."

"Hmm," I smiled with a bit of a laugh. "I can see why."

"When I was little," Louise began, catching me and Coulson's attention. She was standing by the S.H.I.E.L.D. logo, wiping down a handgun. "My parents used to tell me that, _trust_ is a very strong word. I never really listened, but over time I realized they were right."

The room fell silent.

I slammed the crate lid shut. "I don't need the scepter yet," I said.

Coulson nodded.

"Now," I continued. "What are those vials for?"

"Different things, Mr. Laufeyson," Coulson replied, approaching the shelf. "This one is like a grenade," he picked up a red one and set it down. "With this one, you can change appearance (I wouldn't recommend using it)," he pointed to the yellow one. "This one can pause time for ten to twenty seconds," he pointed to a purple one. "This is poison," he pointed to the green. "And this," he picked up the blue one. "This is a multi-tool. Made from the Tesseract, but not as dangerous." he carefully put it back.

I nodded. "But what does that orange one do?"

Coulson hesitated as he looked for it on the shelf. "Oh," He said as he picked it up. "I don't know. I think it's like a… A… Um—"

"Is it the only one?" Louise asked from across the room setting down her gun on the table.

"Yes," I answered. "I believe so."

She walked up next to Coulson by the shelf. "May I see it?" she asked.

Coulson carefully set it in the palm of her hand. Louise examined it by turning it, putting it upside down, dropping it on her finger and being stopped by Coulson as she lifted it to her mouth.

"I wouldn't." Coulson advised.

Louise glared. "Phil," she said sternly. "If this is what I think it is, then it won't hurt me."

"And if it's not?" I asked.

Louise rolled her eyes and licked the drop on her finger. She closed the lid to the vial and set it back on the shelf.

We both stared at her waiting for something to happen.

"Yep," she smiled. "It's exactly what I think it is; orange juice." And she walked back to the table where her gun was at.

"Orange juice?" I asked.

"Vitamin C," Coulson replied. "Obviously."

"Why would anyone need that when they're fighting?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Because Vitamin C heals Asgardians," Louise leaned against the table smirking. "Like in Greek Mythology and nectar. Vitamin C can also be a weapon against other aliens; it burns them."

"How did you know that?" I asked.

Louise pointed at the table. "It says so right here."

"Oh."

"You better not drink the orange juice, Agent Laufeyson," Coulson teased. "It'll burn you."

My eyes widened with fear as I glanced at the orange juice.

"He's fine," Louise shook her head. "I gave him orange juice when I volunteered as one of the cooks at the University of S.H.I.E.L.D."

"Oh yes," I said. "Now I remember… That was you?"

"It was hand squeezed, too." she nodded.

"It was scrumptious." I complemented.

"Thank you." Louise smiled.

"Anyway," said Coulson going back to the last subject. "I don't believe that theory."

"Why?" Louise asked.

"Because Laufeyson—"

"_Loki_." I corrected.

"Because _Loki_," Coulson continued. "Isn't Asgardian. And if you gave him orange juice at the university, then obviously that theory about vitamin C is false."

The room fell silent.

"I'm sure there isn't any hidden records of mortals dying of vitamin C." I chuckled breaking the silence.

Louise raised her eyebrows as she tapped the screen of the table. "Actually there is a couple." she smiled.

My smile quickly faded. "You're kidding."

"No," Louise chuckled. "I'm serious. They died of vitamin C."

"That's hilarious." said Coulson.

"No," I said as I approached the table. "That's interesting." I looked over and read it. I glared as I looked back to Louise who was still smirking. "You oaf!" I exclaimed. "They died of something _in_ the vitamin C; not _of_ vitamin C. _In_! _**IN**_!"

"You're temper is tragically ridiculous," Louise continued to smile. "It's almost sad."

"That's funny," Coulson interrupted the conversation. Louise and I hadn't notice him approach, so we were almost startled. "Because this one says that this girl died _of_ vitamin C."

I glanced down at the table where Coulson's finger was pointing. There wasn't a profile like the other one, nor was there a picture. Just blank.

I hesitated and glanced up towards Coulson, Louise, then back to the table. "Where is the profile?" I asked.

Coulson tapped a little box and a picture of a dead woman with blisters all over her body, lay on a table with a sheet to cover her up.

"Chinese." said Louise in a surprised manner.

I turned to face Johnson. The only thought that came to mind was my mission; a girl that has been missing for thirty years, but then recently found. "I don't think she's Chinese." I thought out loud.

Louise was silent. "What?" she asked.

"She's French—and Japanese. Maybe not even that."

"What are you saying, Mr. Laufeyson?" Coulson asked.

"I am saying clones." I replied.

Louise and Coulson were both quiet. They looked at each other for a couple of seconds until a smile slowly grew upon Louise's face. "Clones?" She asked as if she thought I was joking.

I nodded. "Clones."

"Clones?" Coulson asked.

"Clones." I answered.

"You're kidding." Louise knit her eyebrows.

"No," I said. "Clones."

"I'm sorry," Coulson shook his head. "Are you saying _clowns_—?"

"Yes, with your accent and everything—It's—It's hard to understand what you're saying—"

"You have an accent, too." Coulson interrupted Louise.

She glared at him. "It faded."

"No, it didn't."

"Yes, it did."

"No, it didn't."

"Yes, it did—"

"Stop arguing!" I shouted. "And for God's sake, Coulson! It's _CLONES_! _C-L-O-N-E-S_!"

"Pardon," Louise tapped my shoulder. "But did you say, c-l-o_-W_-n-s? Because I don't quite speak _'pique_._'_"

I moved so close to her, that we were six inches away from each other. "I wish I could smack you." I said sternly.

She moved her head two inches closer. "And I wish I could stab you."

"Your breath stinks." I glared.

"Your face makes me want to gag." she replied.

"So you're saying that you fancy me?" I smirked.

"No, I'm saying that you look atrocious."

I chuckled faintly. "I'm glad you know your vocabulary words."

She smiled as she sized me up. "What, now we're complementing?"

We were both still and quiet and were both smiling at each other in a judgmental manner.

"I thought you disliked mortals, Laufeyson." said Coulson randomly.

Louise and I turned to Coulson, then back to each other. "You'd better live up to your words," Louise smiled flirtatiously. "before you fall into a little prison of heartbreak." She walked away across the room to the crate where my scepter was. She picked up the first crate and carelessly set it on the floor. She opened up the lid to the plastic trunk that was underneath the crate. She pulled out more guns and knives and all sorts of large mortal destructive weapons.

She glared. "What?"

Coulson and I exchanged looks.

Louise rolled her eyes. "I like my guns!"

"I didn't say you didn't like guns." said Coulson.

"And I didn't say that you didn't say that I didn't like guns." she replied.

"Nor did Loki." said Coulson.

"Please don't drag me into this queer discussion." I glared at coulson.

Of course this was now an awkward moment. Last thing I wanted was to be involved in an ongoing discussion that would never end.


End file.
